I read somewhere once that friendships are a reflection of you. I hope so because I think my friends are awesome.
One of the best things that happened to me after leaving my job was that I had time to reevaluate my priorities. It wasn’t apparent at first, but I recognized over a few weeks that over the last several years, I had done a poor job prioritizing friendships. And being someone more introverted, I quickly declined from social engagements if it meant sacrificing alone time. Time is a valuable asset.
My husband is the ultimate friend. He is the one that always comes through with his commitments, will support you by being present at all of your life events, and as an extrovert, he finds socializing relaxing. I’ve learned about how to be a top-notch friend from him over the years and the perks of being social. But at some point, I forgot what I had learned and prioritized my job over everything else.
Upon this realization, I started to re-engage. I reached out to family and friends to schedule trips or lunches or drink wine. I quickly realized how much I needed this time to connect with people I love. Even the time spent with my husband was different; I was no longer sullen or anxious or short-tempered. And to everyone’s credit (one of the reasons why my friends are so awesome) is that we didn’t skip a beat. No one acted as if they were offended by my lack of interaction or that I didn’t make them a priority. They welcomed and loved me with open arms.
This reconnection and re-engagement and willingness to be social made me feel so good that I was interested in what the impact of connection has on our mental and physical health. It’s good news!
- Face-to-face social interactions release the treasured neurotransmitters oxytocin and dopamine. These neurotransmitters help to reduce pain and stress. Not only does your quality of life improve, but it also builds you a stronger immune system.
- Memory formation and recall also improve with social interactions helping with cognitive decline as we age. There was a study of “SuperAgers” (people over 80) who show strong cognitive abilities similar to those who are much younger. The reason was due to having close friends and a high level of social engagement.
- Socializing also encourages healthier lifestyles, and group exercise shows higher levels of decreased stress than those who work out alone. Camaraderie is key. (Thank goodness! More reason for SoulCycle.)
- And of course, being around friends and socializing creates a sense of belonging which improves a person’s self-esteem and confidence
For those of you out there that think you don’t have the time, stop. Make you and your friendships a priority. Give them a call, meet for a cup of coffee, go for a walk, eat ice cream, play tennis, play scrabble, laugh at a movie, or get a mani-pedi. Take it from someone who has learned the lesson.
